IPO farmer

HUDSON NY – Sunny Hill Farm CEO Randy Tryon expressed concern at the Farmers Association meeting regarding the seemingly ‘impossible’ benchmarks set by the NYSE to meet IPO requirements. Designed to “tactically prevent honest American businesses from publicly issuing shares’ current regulations require US based companies to show $2 million in revenue with 20% yoy growth, and a board size of least 250 shareholding members. Additionally underwriting financial institutions are required to put up 40 million in collateral shares. Sunny Hill reported $3,200 in Hay sales and $350 in organic egg sales in Q3 2020, although offset by $14,350 in net operating losses. Mr. Tryon said an IPO would allow him to raise much needed capital to accelerate growth at the farm. He aims to issue 200 million shares at price of $9.50 a share. He declined to specifically say where he saw growth potential but said his first priority is to install a security camera on the donation box at the produce stand.


“IPO Requirements Too High” says Upstate NY farmer

     (GME) Shares of Gamestop are up nearly 70% this week, bouyed by a series of stabbings out side of their retail locations. Customers seem willing to wait as long as it takes to get their hands on the new Playstation and XBOX Series Fives, and investors are seeing this most recent batch of bloodsport translate into huge gains in the market.  It is rumored that firms as large as Birkshire Hathaway and The Gates Foundation are considering purchasing huge amounts of the stock; as one unconfirmed, uncorroborated source puts it, GME is a “sure thing” for at least the next decade.  This same source, who only contacts Enron Weekly from a secure phone in his mother’s basement in order to protect his identity, also let us in on a little tip.  “Retail in general has never been stronger, and Gamestop in particular has shown time and time again that customers love paying extra money to pre-order useless cosmetic bullshit along with their games.  They’ll even wait in line for the priviledge.”  

GME Investors Make a Killing

Zombie Senator

In a stunning turn of events, Kentuckyians decided late last night to elect recently reincarnated Senate Majority Leader Mitch Mcconnell.  

Zombie Politician Wins By Landslide

The Boy

The great health. — Being new, nameless, hard to understand, we premature births of an as yet unproven future need for a new goal also a new means — namely, a new health, stronger, more seasoned, tougher, more audacious, and gayer than any previous health. Whoever has a soul that craves to have experienced the whole range of values and desiderata to date, and to have sailed around all the coasts of this ideal "mediterranean"; whoever wants to know from the adventures of his own most authentic experience how a discoverer and conqueror of the ideal feels, and also an artist, a saint, a legislator, a sage, a scholar, a pious man, a soothsayer, and one who stands divinely apart in the old style — needs one thing above everything else: the great health — that one does not merely have but also acquires continually, and must acquire because one gives it up again and again, and must give it up. 
And now, after we have long been on our way in this manner, we argonauts of the ideal, with more daring perhaps than is prudent, and have suffered shipwreck and damage often enough, but are, to repeat it, healthier than one likes to permit us, dangerously healthy, ever again healthy — it will seem to us as if, as a reward, we now confronted an as yet undiscovered country whose boundaries nobody has surveyed yet, something beyond all the lands and nooks of the ideals so far, a world so overrich in what is beautiful, strange, questionable, terrible, and divine that our curiosity as well as our craving to possess it has gotten beside itself — alas, now nothing will sate us any more!

Enron Weekly

“IPO Requirements Too High” says Upstate NY farmer

GME Investors Make a Killing

Zombie Politician Wins By Landslide

Op-Ed : Waxing on Mustache Wax

Stock Market Go Boom!

WEASELS

BULK ORDERS AVAILABLE

Enron Weekly

“IPO Requirements Too High” says Upstate NY farmer

GME Investors Make a Killing

Zombie Politician Wins By Landslide

Op-Ed : Waxing on Mustache Wax

Stock Market Go Boom!

WEASELS

*BULK ORDERS AVAILABLE*

BULK ORDERS AVAILABLE